Do you avoid letting people get close in case you get hurt?
Emotional pain is one of the most deeply 'painful' hurts wecanexperience, even though it is invisible. We can get hurt becauseofwhat others do, and we can also get hurt because of whatweourselves do. Whatever the cause, it's only natural to wanttoprotect ourselves. So we take steps to see it won't happen.Likepushing people away.
Why fending people off seems like a good idea
Putting up a barrier between yourself and other people canseemlike a good way to protect yourself. If you don't let themgetclose, they can't hurt you, can they? If you reject themfirst,they won't have a chance to reject you. And this is quitetrue. Butif you maintain this approach for any length of time, youriskending up isolated and lonely. This is not only no fun, it isquiteliterally bad for you, as research has shown.
Never letting anyone close can backfire on you
Now of course there are some people whom you should excludefromyour life, if you can.
There are people who wouldn't be good for you, people whocouldhave a seriously negative effect on your life. It's importanttolearn to identify who is 'toxic' for you, and give them awideberth. But it's equally important not to 'tar everyone withthesame brush'. Because there are also people with whom you couldhaveclose and rewarding relationships that you can really enjoy.Itwould be a terrible shame to drive them away.
But if you've fallen into a pattern of fending people offbecauseof a fear of rejection or hurt, it can feel very scary tostartletting people come closer again. How do you deal withthosefeelings of anxiety that increasing intimacy can bring on? Howdoyou manage the process comfortably and stay in control ofwhat'shappening?
Hypnosis can help you quickly master a newrelationshippattern
Stop pushing people away is an audio hypnosis sessiondevelopedby relationship psychologists that will help you overcomeyourfears about intimacy and start to build moresatisfyingrelationships.